Today I’m having a tough day. I just had a phone call telling me that a woman who goes to our church is in the fight for her life. She is fighting cancer and has been a valiant soldier. My heart breaks as I think about her journey and the thought of not seeing her in her regular seat at church.
Her name is Hazel and strangely we are not close but Hazel has impacted my life greatly. At best, we are acquaintances and members of the same church who great each other each week with a smile and a brief conversation. My husband is one of the main singers at our church and Hazel has made a point of telling me how much she enjoys it when he sings at church. We’ve talked about my children and life in general and she is always masterful at bringing joy into the conversation and seeing the bright side of every situation.

When I first met Hazel I didn’t know she was in the fight of her life. I thought she was one of most attractive older women I had ever met. Her smile told a story that I craved to hear, her eyes drew me in like a good book on a warm summers day, her voice was soothing and every word seemed to be seasoned with wisdom. Hazel was one of the reasons I looked forward to Sunday mornings, seeing her in her regular seat and engaging with a smile made the world feel okay.

She may never know the impact she has had on my life. She may never know how I longed for our brief interactions, our smiles across the isle and how I enjoyed watching her soak up the music and the words as my husband sang. Yet most important, for me, was how she gave me this gentle nod that spoke of acceptance, that told this mother of three that it’s all going to be okay and you’re doing a good job. All in a glance, a sweet smile and a gentle nod. Hazel was a true communicator and someone who I will remember for a lifetime.

I wish she could know the things she taught me on these Sunday mornings. Through her life I have seen strength, perseverance, courage, determination, kindness, gentleness, sweetness and love. So today, I simply pray, I believe and I thank God for a life well lived and in these prayers I ask God to teach me to be a woman like Hazel.

Susan xo

Well friends, we are three weeks from Christmas. It’s hard to believe that we’re already listening to carols, buying gifts and wrapping paper and our ovens seem to be constantly churning out some of our family favourites.

Last week, my mother came to Calgary to teach me how to make her Christmas Cakes. She has been making them for years, she learned from her mother, my Grandmother and then adopted a few of my Nana’s (my dad’s mum) cake ideas and eventually developed her own flavour. So this week, I have been given what feels like the holy grail. The coveted Christmas Cake recipe has been entrusted into my hands, not only the recipe but time spent together creating, teaching, learning, loving. This week will be with me for a lifetime.

As Christmas draws near and as I learn these new skills, I always seem to find myself thinking about the importance of Tradition and how cultures and people groups across the globe crave tradition. Tradition proves itself to be important simply through how we all gravitate towards the things that make us feel right, the things that occur year after year and the things that we know will always exist. In my life Christmas without my mum’s Christmas Cake just wouldn’t be right. It’s like Turkey without the stuffing, if that were to happen it would feel like the world if off kilter. Tradition anchors us to our centre, it warms the soul and regardless of circumstance or situation, tradition allows us to feel a sense of peace.

So as you prepare for Christmas, make sure you keep your traditions. Perhaps, like me, baking with your mother with your children watching on and taking part is something you do each year or decorating the tree on a particular night or, like in my case, anxiously awaiting the arrival of your Aunt’s famous almond crunch. Again, a tradition outside the immediate but oh so necessary, this tradition allows you to sneak away and steal a moment alone during this busy season tosavour the goodness of life and to reflect.

Tradition in our house, as you can imagine, is very important. If flows through everything, especially at Christmas time. I spoke about baking with my mum and we also have our Christmas Tree Decorating Night complete with appetizers, much laughter a few broken baubles, countless burnt out lights and friends who drop in just because they know they can and it’s always a fun night in our home. Additionally, my children know that Christmas is not Christmas in our house without Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton’s Christmas Album on repeat from the end of November until after New Years.

Enjoy the next few weeks and remember this season is busy and if you fail to plan, plan to fail. Make lists, check them twice and create a wonderful Christmas for your family and friends. Let the countdown begin…..

Stay tuned for our famous familyroom Christmas Plan which designed to help keep you on track, on time, on budget and allow you to enter Christmas day relaxed and organized. This years revised plan will be released December 1st so make sure you check back. Take care friends and smile because this is a magical time of year.

There is a saying that most of you probably know. It goes like this ‘The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree’. This saying has become very real to me in the last few weeks through my eldest daughter, Sophia. I recently received an email from her language arts teacher that was titled OMG (Oh My Goodness) the content of the email was as follows: ‘Hey Susan. OMG!  Did you read Sohpia’s eulogy speech?  She totally made me cry. That girl is extremely talented!!!!!!  Must be her fabulous teacher. Seriously, I’d love to take the credit, but I’m sure her mom has more to do with it!!!!!!!  Fantastic writer!!!!!’

As you can well imagine I was overjoyed to receive such a lovely email from a teacher and she confirmed what I was coming to understand, that my daughter, at the young age of 12, is a gifted writer.

Like any proud mother I want to share her accomplishments with you, my readers. Also, I think it’s amazing that at 12 years of age she is being published for the first time ~ in this column. Who knows where she may end up and what this publishing may do for her. If anything, it will help build her confidence, it will challenge her and hopefully motivate her to create more, to let her mind expand and to write even more. I know that through reading her writings I have been motivated, challenged and inspired. I see, through the words of my 12 year old that the ways, in which, Philip and I are raising her and her sibilings, the things we are instilling in them are good. Through Sophia’s words I think I’m getting a glimpse at the fruit that comes from our little family family tree. What I see is good fruit and my heart smiles.

The class assignment was to write a eulogy about something (thankfully not someone). They had to pick something and write about it and then present in front of the class. Sophia wrote beautifully and with poise and elegance presented her writing to her class. Through her writing I have come to understand the saying about the apple and the tree. I don’t think this little apple has fallen far from the tree and maybe I, as an apple, didn’t fall far from the tree of my origin.  I hope you enjoy!

The Difference Between a House and a Home

By Sophia Sohn: March 12, 2011

It was a simpler time, when all I needed to be entertained for hours at a time was a piece of paper and a crayon. Like most five year olds, my drawings were usually pink and they were usually of princesses, fairies, and castles. They were drawings that showed who I was and who I wanted to be. I was going to be a princess and I would have a gorgeous Prince and we would live together in our castle.

In reality my castle was located on 18 Old Glenhaven Road, Sydney, Australia. There were no turrets, no moats, no knights in shining armour, and there was absolutely nothing pink about this house. I never realized how much I loved my house until it was gone.

It wasn’t a huge house. It wasn’t little either. The simplicity of it was what made it beautiful. Maybe I was the only person that thought it was beautiful. Maybe I was the only one who enjoyed the swing set outside. Maybe I was the only one who liked my small wooden cubby house. Maybe other people didn’t appreciate it the way I did. If people didn’t like my house then they sure didn’t show it. My house was never empty.

Maybe that’s because it isn’t just a house. My house was an actress and as a little girl I often had friends over, and my house soon became my castle, my secret lair, and once it even became the school from high school musical (the movie).

The most important role it ever had was my home.

Sure it wasn’t my first house, but it was definitely my first home. It was where our family started. It was a home that would forever hold some of our most precious memories. It was where we laughed together, cried together, celebrated together, mourned together, and learned to love each other.

We are gathered here today to honour this house that soon became three little childrens’ home, their safe haven, the place they would run to if anything went wrong. The place where these little kids would grow up. This home has become part of my family. I grew up with it, and alongside my parents it watched me grow, it watched me go from a pink room to a green room, it watched me go from a size 1 shoe to a size 4 shoe, it watched me laugh and watched me cry, and it watched me run to it and it watched me run away from it.

I’ve come to a point in my life where I’ve had to learn to give up things, and sacrifice things for other people. When my parents told me that we were moving I didn’t want to let go.  Personally, I think that letting go is one of the hardest things that we as people have to do. No person in the world is perfect, nobody wants to let things go, and neither did I, but it was something that I had to do.

I loved my house. It was special. It was comforting. And it was home. That’s why it will always have a spot in my heart. Thank you and always remember “A house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams.”

Well friends today on RealLife Radio we had a panel of mums who have kids ranging from 3-25. We had Tanya who has a 3-year-old boy, Elizabeth who has 4 children ranging in age from 3-10 and Suzie who has Stacey 25, James 20 and Faith 17. The conversation was great and one all mum’s should listen to.

I asked my guests (at the end of the show) what their top 3 tips would be and here they are:

Tanya’s Top Tips – Making it through the Toddler Years:
1) Have friends
2) Be consistent
3) Be intentional

Elizabeth’s Top Tips – Making it through the 1st 10 years with 4 children:
1) A good bubble bath can help any situation (and that’s for mum not the kiddies)
2) Just listen
3) Loving them will cover all

Suzie’s Top Ten Tips – Making it through the teen years:
1) Sit back, shut up and pray harder
2) Know where your kids are at all times
3) Keep your marriage strong

Extraordinary tips from 3 extraordinary mothers who are raising strong, confident children and young adults.

Susan

Today I turned 41 and my friend, Tony Cosatto, sent me this article written by Regina Brett. Regina wrote this and it became one of her most requested columns. As she headed towards 90 years of age she ‘wisely’ decided to share it again. For that wisdom I am grateful because I love wisdom that is passed down by those who have blazed trails and gone before.

To my friend Tony and his beautiful wife Sam, I thank you for reminding me, once again, about the things that are important. You are a extraordinary friends and true gifts from God in our lives. Thank You for simply being You!

I love wisdom like this and I hope you do too.

Susan

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick [quit and travel the
world].
Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

Image by Her Library Adventures

Okay, so yesterday I found a folded, yellowed letter inside one of my books. It was a list of parenting tips my mother had written for me when I became a mum 16 odd years ago. I’m so glad I found it and even happier that I took heed of many of them. Yes, my mum is ‘old school’ and some of these tips will seem a little archaic for many readers, but take what you wish from this list and discard the rest…

1. Tell them at least once a day how much they are loved.
2. Talk about God daily…look at scenery, sunsets, etc thanking God.
3. Encourage a grateful heart.
4. Refrain from criticism.
5. Listen to them.
6. Read to them as much as possible. Lead by example…switch off the TV and read.
7. Praise good behaviour.
8. Instil confidence in them by assuring them they can do it.
9. Teach them it’s okay to say no.
10. Remind them they don’t have to have everything advertised on TV.
11. Encourage them to be an individual.
12. Everybody may be doing it…they are not ‘everybody’.
13. Take pride in their appearance…present them well.
14. Eat together at the table thereby encouraging communication.
15. Forbid labelling others…e.g. stupid, fat, etc.
16. Punish labelling by loss of privileges.
17. Allow them to build cubby houses inside no matter the mess.
18. Discourage ‘sheep’ mentality…have an opinion.
19. Encourage creative play.
20. Treat them with respect.
21. Value their health and feed them homemade nourishing meals.
22. Write letters to them…post them to the house, place them on their pillows, etc.
23. Encourage independence from an early age by allowing them to dress themselves and giving them chores.
24. Tell them how they came to be…they love stories about themselves.
25. Lay on the bed at night with them and just let them talk.
26. Allow them to help!!! (Mum used the exclamation marks here…I’m simply relaying…)
27. Saturday mornings, let them all pile into your bed.
28. Give them breakfast in bed as a treat.
29. Distinguish between childish irresponsibility and sheer naughtiness.
30. Set boundaries and keep them…they need it.
31. Separate the act from the child…e.g. “That was a silly thing you did” rather than “you are silly”.
32. Don’t argue in front of them.
33. Show affection to your spouse in front of them…this increases their security.
34. Spend time with them…walks, bike rides, playing hide ‘n’ seek, throw a ball, etc.
35. Teach them to look you in the eye when they are talking.
36. Try to spend independent time with each child.
37. Teach your boys how to treat a woman.
38. Teach them the importance of good manners.
39. Teach them compassion and to care for others.
40. Don’t take sides in an argument with children…unless necessary.
41. Love them, love them, love them!

How many times have those of you, who have their mums present in their worlds, called up or dropped around to ask 101 questions of how to fix something, cook something or make something?

For me, living in a different city, the phone calls are often. They could range from how to make that particular gravy she masters every single time without much thought to those ‘Help! My teenager’s being a teenager’ SOS calls.

It amazes me how my mum is still my ‘go to’ person, no matter how menial the question. I guess the level eases off the older you become, yet even in my 30’s I still seek advice from her. She raised us to be independent free thinkers armed with strong tools to navigate our way through the labyrinth of life, but for me, mum has become my ultimate sounding board for many of my decisions.

Raising a daughter myself, I have taken this into account as the questions keep rolling my way and are becoming more complex. How much have I already trained her? Am I equipping her thoroughly enough or am I coddling her? Having an only child, it can be an easy trap…believe me.

So this year, I have steadily taught her to cook the basics, to navigate her way around the city, to work the washing machine, to decipher between plants and weeds when helping in the garden (more to curb my frustration rather than help her gain gardening skills!), to decorate and create atmosphere, how to dye her hair without dying the entire bathroom, to manage her finances, to compose her first resume and apply for a job, to host her friends well, etc…these things are the basics.

It’s the trickier questions and skills she’ll need answers for that are in our conversations now…drugs, sex, alcohol, parties, how to conduct herself around the opposite sex (going to an all girls school makes this a little foreign), how much make up is too much at 16!, to use the internet with wisdom, etc.

It’s these questions that beg the ultimate question. Do I know who I am and do I know what I know well? Am I confident in what I am teaching her? Are my facts correct? Am I forgetting too easily what it was like being her age? Am I clued in enough to know teenagehood is light worlds away from what it was in the 80’s?

As I continue this path witnessing my daughter’s self discovery and journey to independence, I am happy with the results to date. As everything I do today plays such a vital role in her tomorrow, I am happy to work hard at it and cement my responses with the back up of a quick phone call to my mum or a trusted friend. No mother is an island, so don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions of those who have walked this road ahead of you. Feedback from wise people in your world are like nuggets of gold.

That said, know who you are, believe what you believe and parent with confidence. Be prepared for that phone call 10 to 20 years from now, minutes before one of their first guest arrives for one of their first dinner parties, asking what on earth to do when the roast they cooked looks fabulous but it’s still frozen on the inside!

Good luck!

Michaela.

Friends the Holiday Season is right infront of us and we all know what that means… Christmas parties, after work drinks, dropping in to multiple parties in one night partaking in a drink here, a drink there and then sadly, in some cases, back behind the wheel. Please watch this video, share it with your friends and your children who drive.  Over the holiday season {and any other time for that matter} make whatever necessary arrangements you need to so you DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE. Lives depend on ALL of us being responsible.

NOTE: THIS VIDEO IS VERY GRAPHIC SO PLEASE HEED THIS WARNING.

Click Here to watch the Video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2mf8DtWWd8

Thought of the week…

Saying thank you is easy. I say it hundreds of times a day often carrying neither weight nor effort. For me it could range from thanking someone at work for simply passing the stapler to muttering thank you at the lights when they turn green to sarcastically thanking someone for not letting me into their lane during peak hour traffic…hmmm.

Saying thank you is important, polite and second nature to most of us on a daily basis. When life’s fabulous the ‘thank you’s’ flow freely and can also surprisingly roll off your tongue with ease in the midst of storms, heartache, depression and even grief…thank you for the flowers, thank you for the meal, thank you for phoning…

Giving thanks, however, is another exercise entirely. It is deliberate recognition, appreciation and gratitude that can often be sacraficial. I have had moments when giving thanks was the last thing I felt like doing, although once said, was the key to clearer perspective and/or much needed change.

I dare you to give thanks this week rather than rest on your ‘thank you’s’.

Michaela.

Image by Better The World

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It is also the month when the annual “Run for the Cure” takes place in an effort to raise money for the fight against breast cancer.

I am of course going to be a participant in this year’s event. I feel obligated to participate in the 5 km walk/run since being diagnosed with primary breast cancer last year for the second time in my young life. I feel I must do my part to try and stop this disease from destroying the lives of more wonderful, beautiful, precious individuals who did nothing to deserve their diagnosis.

Though I must admit I am beginning to feel somewhat unsure about my actual motive for running this year. At first I convinced myself that I was running to raise money for a cure. However the more I seem to think about my reasons for running, the more I question if this is truly just a fundraising effort or is there some deeply buried, underlying reason I have chosen to register as a participant.

Am I just throwing the majority of my spare time into raising money for a cause because it is so near and dear to my heart? As I began to dissect the motivation behind my decision to run, I began to see that not only was I running for a cure, but in doing so I was in fact running from cancer!

I am becoming very, very skilled at running from cancer. Having been the winner of my first race against cancer in 2001, I felt very confident that I had an advantage. I had become the master at pouring all of my extra time and energy into activities that allowed me turn my back on issues surrounding my own diagnosis, treatment and prognosis.

It was becoming seemingly clearer that I had been training for this “run” for the past 12 months, only I had never even laced up a pair of running shoes. The training I had been doing was all mental and much, much harder than the physical act of training for a marathon. I had spent the last 12 months running away from cancer! I trained like a tri-athlete, becoming much faster and stronger with every session.

I spent just under a year training my mind to run away from my reality and the possibilities that coincide with a cancer diagnosis. I was now becoming the best, my pace was remarkable, my stamina was outstanding and then I “hit the wall” so to speak. The reality of my entire experience with cancer finally caught up to me and was challenging me like never before. I began to realize that I could no longer hold this pace and leave my reality in the dust. It was something I knew had to be faced head-on or I would begin to fall to the back of the pack and risk losing the race of my life.

Each day I work towards facing my fears and dealing with issues head-on even if it means that I may not cross the finish-line in 1st place.

I know that people all around me are athletes, training for their own “races” as they journey through their lives. Each of us has our own race to run; some longer than others, some completely uphill, others along a more smooth and winding road, and some unfortunately will fall out of the race much earlier than anticipated after struggling for every small, hard-fought step.

Remember those who fought hard in the race; remember those who could not keep the pace.

Jennifer Davin Lindgren.