Today I’m having a tough day. I just had a phone call telling me that a woman who goes to our church is in the fight for her life. She is fighting cancer and has been a valiant soldier. My heart breaks as I think about her journey and the thought of not seeing her in her regular seat at church.
Her name is Hazel and strangely we are not close but Hazel has impacted my life greatly. At best, we are acquaintances and members of the same church who great each other each week with a smile and a brief conversation. My husband is one of the main singers at our church and Hazel has made a point of telling me how much she enjoys it when he sings at church. We’ve talked about my children and life in general and she is always masterful at bringing joy into the conversation and seeing the bright side of every situation.

When I first met Hazel I didn’t know she was in the fight of her life. I thought she was one of most attractive older women I had ever met. Her smile told a story that I craved to hear, her eyes drew me in like a good book on a warm summers day, her voice was soothing and every word seemed to be seasoned with wisdom. Hazel was one of the reasons I looked forward to Sunday mornings, seeing her in her regular seat and engaging with a smile made the world feel okay.

She may never know the impact she has had on my life. She may never know how I longed for our brief interactions, our smiles across the isle and how I enjoyed watching her soak up the music and the words as my husband sang. Yet most important, for me, was how she gave me this gentle nod that spoke of acceptance, that told this mother of three that it’s all going to be okay and you’re doing a good job. All in a glance, a sweet smile and a gentle nod. Hazel was a true communicator and someone who I will remember for a lifetime.

I wish she could know the things she taught me on these Sunday mornings. Through her life I have seen strength, perseverance, courage, determination, kindness, gentleness, sweetness and love. So today, I simply pray, I believe and I thank God for a life well lived and in these prayers I ask God to teach me to be a woman like Hazel.

Susan xo

That’s right, we have been asked to host a cruise to ARUBA….. Friends, family and Real Life Radio listeners/readers are gathering from all over the globe to join us for 7 Luxurious days onboard the newly enhanced GRAND PRINCESS enjoying sun, family, friendship and maybe even a few cocktails. Cruising with Princess is like a dream come true. Everything from your linens to your dining is an experience.

Real Life friends and family book NOW and be part of this once-in-a-life time experience with us. We can’t wait to see you as we travel and enjoy together.

We are so excited…. Hope you’ll talk it over and consider joining us. More information to come (onboard activities, day excursions) etc., as our booking come in! Make sure you contact Cathe Offet and team from Expedia Travel to make your booking.

Susan & family

I’m writing this article from the comfort of my Hong Kong hotel room. I am looking out my window at one of the most extraordinary skylines the world has to offer. Flashing billboards advertising all the major brands dance across buildings and reflect on the Hong Kong Harbour. I can hear the bustling streets that are still buzzing with activity at 11pm. This city is one of a kind and was a city I called home for 10 years. It is a place that holds sights and sounds that are near dear to me and a place I love to come and visit.

Tonight my hubby and I enjoyed dinner at a restaurant called ‘Under the Bridge Spicy Crab’. The restaurant is known for it’s spicy crab and it’s located under a bridge so the name truly speaks for itself. Our meal was, like most meals in Hong Kong, exceptional. The food was prepared to perfection and we savoured every bite.

Hong Kong is known for it’s culinary delights and residents and visitors are rarely disappointed. Strangely however, the food and the service are vastly different. In Hong Kong, service in a Chinese restaurant is usually at best brusque and at worst rude. Everything seems to happen at the speed of light and the staff turn tables over so quickly that engaging in customer service isn’t a priority. It’s service and communication on a need-to-know basis only.

To my surprise, the experience tonight was different. Our waitress was a kind, gentle lady who took care of us well. She had a way about her that oozed kindness and simple goodness. I could see something special in this woman and over dinner shared my thoughts with my husband. He too could see what I saw and felt from this lady.

As we finished our meal and requested the bill my husband decided to tell the woman what I had said. He spoke to her in Cantonese and said, ‘My wife thinks you are a very good person.” The lady covered her mouth, giggled and went very red and then replied by saying, ‘No one has ever said that to me before in my life. It makes me very happy. Thank You.’

I was surprised that being such an obviously kind woman she had never heard those words before. I realise that culturally this isn’t something Chinese people speak openly about so I’m glad my husband shared my thoughts with her. You see, you never really know what someone may need to hear and a kind word really does goes a very long way. Let’s not hold back on our kindness and our honest compliments, let’s encourage one another because by doing so we give each other courage. I wonder who that woman will touch now with her added courage. You really never know.

Susan xo

Image by Blonde Episodes

I’m not totally enthralled by valentines day. In fact, I hate it. I resent the fact that it is boxed into romantic love. I love, love, but wish the occasion was used to celebrate all kinds of love.

We all have many different loves. There is of course Eros Love – the intimate kind of love that results in sensual, passionate love. Too bad if come Valentines Day you are not engaged in this kind of love. Please look the other way while paired up people fill the restaurants and movie theatres on February 14th with their eyes and mouths locked on each other. What about agape, philia or storge types of love? Are these not worth celebrating too?

I love how in the movie Love Actually they showcase a little of these types of love. Think about Laura Linney’s character; Sarah who defers her own wants and needs for the sake of her sick brother. That is sacrificial and great love. That is the kind of love I want celebrate. Then how about friendship love? Think Billy Mac & Joe. The kind of friendship that sticks with you and sees you through thick and thin…celebrates your triumphs and holds you close through heartbreaks and failures?

There are so many more examples of love other than eros I could give…such as the love and affection a parent feels for their child, or the close bond that goes beyond friendship between siblings.

What about the love for something that isn’t flesh or blood? A moment in time? A place? A song?

There is a place for me that I am bound to with much love and affection. It is somewhere that holds amazing memories. Breathtaking scenery, dear friendships, special moments, growth and understanding, even the welcome of a new addition to our family. Physically speaking I can return there, but emotionally speaking I will never be able to return to that place with those moments. That love….that is held in my heart forever. Even though it hurt to leave and say goodbye I would live that love again over and over and over! Now that is true love!

So, what love are you celebrating this Valentines Day?

Amy Sheaves

For the last few years Christmas has been bitter-sweet. Let me explain. Recently we had been living overseas and loved all the experiences it brought – all but the exception of Christmas time. Christmas is a time to be with family and being away from your loved ones during Christmas is almost unbearable.

I love Christmas time. I relish putting up the tree, decorating the house, making Christmas goodies in the kitchen and mulling over what to serve on Christmas day. Other than my sister, the only other person who embraced Christmas at full speed was my mother in law, Pam. When living in Sydney, in late October, Pam and I would begin discussing, planning and preparing our Christmas shopping and to do lists.

I have so many fond memories of organising Christmas with Pam. My favourite memories would probably be Pudding Duty – as we called it…each of us taking turns to watch the puddings on the stove ensuring they didn’t dry out during the six hours it took to cook them. We had fun staying awake, playing cards, eating fruit mince pies and having a good yarn.

Christmas shopping was a marathon that needed to be paced to ensure longevity. It was not unusual to spend a good half day in one shop. I’ll never forget one time we went shopping after her radiology appointment and were thrown out from a shop after I dropped something! Needless to say, you had to be there, yet it provided us both with a much needed laugh and giggle.

Pam knew how Christmas was supposed to be and so did I. She knew it was a time of giving and opening your home up to people who didn’t have family.

Over the last few years we would phone often and chat during the Christmas season. She was sad that we weren’t back home in Australia with them, and naturally, we were sad too. I told her when I played ‘Have Yourself A Merry Little Chirstmas’ that I was reminded that ’some day soon we all will be together’.

Unfortunately the fates didn’t allow and even though we returned this year to Australia to be with her, she is no longer with us. I miss her terribly, and so much more at Christmas time.

I don’t expect I’ve conveyed in these short paragraphs exactly what Christmas with Pam was like for me, but I would like to say if you have loved ones close to you this Christmas, LOVE them. Cherish each moment, silly or serious….and have yourself a merry little Christmas. xxx.

Amy Sheaves

Can God’s love save anyone? California’s gold country, 1850. A time when men sold their souls for a bag of gold and women sold their bodies for a place to sleep. Angel expects nothing from men but betrayal. Sold into prostitution as a child, she survives by keeping her hatred alive. And what she hates most are the men who use her, leaving her empty and dead inside. Then she meets Michael Hosea. A man who seeks his Father’s heart in everything, Michael Hosea obeys God’s call to marry Angel and to love her unconditionally. Slowly, day by day, he defies Angel’s every bitter expectation until, despite her resistance her frozen heart begins to thaw. But with her unexpected softening come overwhelming feelings of unworthiness and fear. And so Angel runs. Back to the darkness, away from her husband’s pursuing love, terrified of the truth she can no longer deny: Her final healing must come from the One who loves her even more than Michael Hosea does…the One who will never let her go.

I reacted quite violently to the story. I related so much to Angel it was like reading my own life. Her betrayal and abuse by the hands of men who should have protected her.What I truly struggled with was how, in the midst of her sordid life, she found a man who loved her unconditionally, despite her hard heart, despite her bitterness.

In truth it angered me because that had been the cry of my own heart for years – simply to be loved by someone unconditionally regardless of my resistance and fear – without answer.

Over time, a number of friends commented they thought it a beautiful story of which I obviously did not share the same opinion.It was almost two years before I picked the book up again.

Much had taken place in that time and as I began to read once more the story of Angel and Michael Hosea, my heart stirred. I still understood the heart of Angel; her sadness, the betrayal and eventual resolve to destroy a relationship before it destroyed her. But this time I also understood a love that melts the heart – a love that sees beyond the surface, beyond the mask, a love that sees the fragility of heart and holds it tenderly.

As I read page after page of the love of a man for his bride, tears streaming down my face, I came to understand I had been offered this love all along. And with that realization my heart broke in the knowledge I have always had His unconditional love.

Kaye.

Every family hits highs and lows, yet mostly sail along on a relatively even keel. Yet sometimes out of nowhere storms that cause us to be shaken up a little more than we bargained for come our way. That’s where the strength of community can play such a vital role…those rare indescribable moments when those around us step in, not only to lend a hand, but hold our hand.

After listening to the heart of a dear friend who’s family is facing their own storm, I started thinking of family and community as a tree and rememered the many similarities in each organism.

Each starts out small with intent to grow and become strong.

Those of you who have been following our website for a while now, know that thefamilyroom crew are constantly thinking of ways to enrich the lives of our young families and hopefully along the way inspire you and yours to grab whatever catches your eye and add your own spin.

With this in mind, I thought I’d ask myself some basic questions regarding the elements required to keep a tree, a community and a family healthy.

1. What am I feeding my family? Will it nourish and sustain it for the long haul?

2. When the storms of life come along, will my family stand strong?

3. Is my family reproducing itself? And if so, are the offshoots healthy?

4. Is my family’s fruit sweet or sour?

5. Does my family provide shelter and strength for those around us?

6. Are there things in my family that need ‘pruning’ or do I let them hang on?

7. Is my family planted deeply in something greater?

8. When my family is feeling frail is strong support at the ready to tie it to?

Just a few thoughts. Amid the rush of family life, it’s always good to break things down and take stock every once in a while.

Michaela.

Photography by Nicole Polk

Thought of the week…

Surprise someone!

Everyone loves a hamper. Why not surprise someone this week with a bundle of goodies just for fun. While out doing the grocery shopping, add a few extra items to your trolley for a loved one, a neighbour, a teacher, a collegue, etc. Brighten someone’s day with a little extra effort.

The other day I saw a swag of birds gathered on overhead electric wires. It was an Aha! Moment! (thanks Oprah!) To me those twenty-something birds all perched along the wires, were a snapshot of togetherness, community! Birds of a feather flock together and it is just as true with humans. 

Community has always resonated with me – it’s expression across the world, the way it is embraced through cultures throughout history. Community is small and intimate, yet gigantic and all-compassing. 

I can still hear the words of my social science teacher in high school “family and community are the nucleus of society”.

When a large piece of fabric begins to fray at the edges, you see the many thin individual threads that make up that one large piece of material – so it is with community – a large tapestry of individuals, families, joined together and belonging as one whole. It is a powerful thing to go from “me” to “we”.
 
One of the greatest gifts my parents have given me is an awareness of community, even at a global level. In the 70’s they were young pioneer missionaries from Australia to the remote pockets in the Eastern Highlands of Papua New Guinea. My Mom worked as a nurse and teacher on the mission, while my Dad built houses and churches. I was born in Goroka and spent my early years growing up in primitive surroundings. My world was a unique fusion of Western missionary folk and the majority were Native village dwellers who had the whitest teeth and brightest eyes when they smiled.

The cultures we encountered were raw, jungle book stories! We shared the same love for baked sweet potato cooked in the ground under flames, rocks and banana tree leaves. But that village became our home, and the natives our family. We all shared the same mountainside, the same soil, the same rain water, we all laughed the same, we walked the same dusty roads into town to buy and sell at the markets. We were diverse, yet we were community.

Community is not sharing the same skin colour. Although it can be that, it is far more. Community is a many a splendid thing. The smallest day to day connections and encounters between humankind. It is organic, and stems from grass-root commonalities; it is valuing yourself and others; understanding life in someone else’s shoes; a commitment to forge togetherness and acceptance; sharing the load of our basic needs for water, food, shelter, safety, language, acceptance and belonging; beliefs for the common good of others. People don’t have to look the same to exist and build community. Community is one heart connected to many hearts.

For a time, I lived and worked in Japan. The day I arrived in Tokyo, I was jolted by the population, the surge of people everywhere. In my first letter I wrote home to my family, I said “it feels like I am at the Sydney Olympics everyday, throngs of people on the trains, crossing city streets. I have never seen this many people, en masse, it is insane”. Yet over the weeks and months I discovered, buried in the rush and over-crowded city, pockets of community…groups of people who connected to bring their worlds into some meaningful intimacy and togetherness. It is impossible to be friends with 20 million people, but to connect with 200 people, over time, is very possible and rather wonderful as our lives strengthen and deepen when our personal story merges into a larger story.

We do ourselves a disservice if we live unto ourselves in an attempt to resist the tug and demands of community. Let your arms open to a greater sense of community…the world will hug you back! If you are reading this article on a website, then it is a given that you are already open to the internet community and the incredible connection it brings to our lives.

Let’s get in the mix! Introduce yourself to your neighbor next door. Say G’day to the person waiting in the line at the grocery store. Smile and look into people’s eyes when you talk to them. Appreciate the differences you see in others. Join in the chorus and sing the national anthem with gusto with your fellow countrymen. Wear the colours to support your local football club. Say a prayer for the unknown victims who suffer from war and strife in other not-so-lucky countries. Adopt a sponsor child from an undeveloped nation. We can’t do everything, but we must do something. 

The sense of camaraderie is one of the most spectacular by-products of community, and the beauty of it is, it can be felt with our family, friends and even with perfect strangers. I like to think that strangers are just friends I haven’t met yet! Howard Thurman wrote these knowing words… “Community cannot for long feed on itself; it can only flourish with the coming of others from beyond, their unknown and undiscovered brothers.“

The greatest word I know that encapsulates the essence of community is the Greek word “agape” -which refers to the human manifestation of God’s pure love, or the intentional and unconditional love for others – including your enemies.

Rochelle.

Thought of the week…

Call your folks, call your siblings, call your children or call your friends…whether they are one suburb away or living abroad, a phone call always trumps an email.