I remember years before I was a mum hearing a simple yet powerful comment that forever changed the way I viewed my child…changed my perspective of parenting.
What may have been an insignificant comment to some altered my life. Are you ready? It’s deep! After complimenting a friend’s new baby by saying something along the lines of ‘she’s so beautiful’, the new mum replied ‘isn’t she just’. That’s it! You may think…yeah, so what?
I had never heard that response before from a mum…I had always listened to the following complaints on their sleeping patterns, crying, etc. You know the ones. They sound something like this…‘yes, but you should hear her at 2am, not so beautiful then’…of course followed up with a laugh and a grimace.
To hear a new mother just compliment her child and not ‘out’ her as a nuisance in the early hours of the morning (hello…it comes with the territory, we all know that) was really eye opening to me and refreshing. This new mum was onto something…she chose to see her child with a different perspective to what I had heard before.
I never forgot her comment and when the day came and I had my own bundle of bliss in my arms, I happily lapped up the compliments without following it up with a criticism. Why is it that we feel the need to criticise our babies? Do we feel like we need to apologise for having an easy baby? Is it just how we roll…is it a natural part of our language? Are there chapters written in baby books on how to deplore your newborn? Or is it that we believe that is what’s expected of us to voice?
I completely understand the need to share and vent with your people, yet I encourage you to change the expectation…change your perspective…change your language. Your child will encounter criticism throughout their life…be confident of that…surely they don’t need it from us before they can utter their first words.
I do not believe it is a case of over praising your child, but underpinning your perspective with a strong cheerleading spirit! I’m forever grateful to the simple words of that new mum!
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