Home away from home … family away from family

Hi! For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Beck, Michaela’s flatmate, a 26-year-old single girl living in the gorgeous city of Melbourne.

I have moved many times in the last few years. Growing up in a small country town with high unemployment and no option for further study, I had no choice but to leave my family and move to the city. Starting out in a new city without your family can be daunting, yet taking this step has been one of the best decisions I have made to date.

The journey has not been without hiccups – or the odd teary phone call home to Mum – or, at times, just feeling completely alone, vulnerable and almost exposed.

Moving from a sleepy town to the big smoke, I have not only learnt MUCH about me, but also about what ‘family’ looks like.

As the new girl in town, it was tempting to hatch grand plans to reinvent myself. Not that I wasn’t comfortable in who I was, but I’d hoped to be more outgoing, more carefree or more of the girl I thought I should be. Fear of rejection and trying to be someone different played on my mind. But one lesson I learned was that wherever I roamed, the real me followed … there was no escape. So I accepted what I needed to accept and changed what I needed to change.

Within the first two weeks of moving to Melbourne, I had found work, yet socially I was only just finding my feet. Meeting people through work allowed me to build a network of new friendships.

Friends who I had cliqued with in the first few months suggested we head out for a drink after work. What started out as a casual drink soon became dinners that our small circle wouldn’t think of missing. This was a time for catching up, debriefing and real connection. Dinner served as a platform for friendships to develop. Friendships that are now irreplaceable.

It didn’t happen overnight though, it took time and effort. It meant re-telling my stories, sharing life experiences and offering my opinions to fresh ears. Not all who have dined with us have been kindred spirits or, in the words of the Grey’s Anatomy cast, ‘my people’, but you have to be open and start somewhere. I have been fortunate to find amazing people that I now call ‘family’. Family does not always fit the box of sharing the same surname, blood type or address.

One of my friends is my Mum’s age, not that she acts it! Having her in my life is not so much a replacement, but a reminder of home and a safe haven for those heart-to-heart talks that we girls love. Another is my brother’s age and has become a constant in my life … a man I can depend on. Another friend is like my sister – someone who accepts you completely but will still tell you if you’ve got lipstick on your teeth.

Two years have passed since those early days, and although some of us have moved on from a job that was once the only element that tied us together, we have remained each other’s ‘people’. We meet up at a restaurant once a month and have our version of Family Night. It is not the only time we see each other, but Family Night is a night that is planned and eagerly anticipated. We wouldn’t miss for the world.

What I know for sure is that home away from home and family away from family is what you make it.

Beck

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