A common heart

I was inspired to write this article after reading Belinda’s post about her 40th birthday and my experience with my extended family this past weekend. I hope you enjoy.

In my house, I have a piece of art depicting a beautiful tree with extraordinary branches and gorgeous shades of green. This picture hangs by my front door and written across the canvas are the following words: Family ~ people who share a common start and grow to share a common heart. I love these words and I love that, as families, we are all unique. We all have our stories of joy, challenge, triumph, the down-right hilarious and all the moments in between.

Family is an extraordinary bond that, if protected, nurtured and fed, can grow into, as those words express, a common heart. Hearts that beat as one, hearts that feel each other’s happiness and bear each other’s burdens. I believe this is the family I come from.

This weekend, we celebrated my Aunt’s 80th birthday (let me tell you, she makes 80 look amazing!!!!!). We, the Taylor and Young families plus friends, gathered from both near and far to celebrate the amazing life of an extraordinary lady.

I often say that as people age you can read their life stories on their faces. My Aunt’s story is visible in the faint lines that speak clearly of a life well lived. They tell the story of a woman who has seen much, and experienced the joys and the challenges of life. It’s easy to see that she has shared much laughter and joy, yet hidden within the tiny creases are stories of sadness, loss and maybe even a few regrets (the latter I would never know). Those of us close to her know that the loss of a child leaves an almost unspeakable mark of sorrow and pain, yet the beautiful lives of three other grown children cause that mark to curve and bring joy to the hard places.

Walking through cancer and losing a husband, father and brother far too early have left their shadows, softened by the bond of family. My Aunt is an extraordinary woman who has taught us that life is for living, carpe diem ~ seize the day.

She has taught us to laugh. She has shown us that strength can come from the depths of your being and that you can move on, that life doesn’t stop even though it hurts. She has shown us that family is what matters.

I write this today because this weekend I sat watching generations talk and laugh together. I listened to the stories of lives intertwined, families united and bonds of love that cannot be broken. I listened at the beginning with a heavy heart. A heavy heart because, as you know, my family has recently relocated to Canada from Australia, the country my children call home. Relocating and re-establishing isn’t easy and at times the sadness, longing and pain are almost suffocating. There are moments when your breath is taken and the pain of loss is almost unbearable. In those moments the suitcases are out, the computer is searching for flights and then you breathe again. Relocating, although necessary, hasn’t been easy, but with each passing day the sense of loss slowly lifts and our mourning is turning to dancing.

Weekends like this one help me to see how important it is for my children to experience family in its truest sense. I sat, watching and listening to the stories, the laughter and the interactions whilst my children rolled on the grass with their cousins. They played games, fought with each other and waited (at times not so patiently) for food to arrive. They listened to the speeches and, with every breath, I knew that the richness of family was being deposited into them. The knowledge, and perhaps a deeper understanding, of the words that adorn the wall in our family home became a little more evident through every smile, every pat on the head and every comment of resemblance. Family ~ people who share a common start and grow to share a common heart.

To my Aunt, again I say HAPPY BIRTHDAY and thanks for making 80 look so fantastic.

Susan

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